Being Philanthropist…..

I knew my grandfather as a disciplined person. He would either be absorbed in newspapers or in listening to radio news. He would start his day early in the morning even before the sunrise to take a morning walk of about 7 to 8 kms daily. On his return he would take a full size jug of water.

You would find him listening to others very keenly and but you would very rarely find him talking. He in fact seemed to lack all communication skills. Sometimes one would really wonder whether he had any friends. Once I asked my Mom,
‘‘Does Nanu love anybody? He never expresses it. And I wonder has he ever scolded you?” Mom replied, “Yes he is very emotional. But he has his own ways of expressing it. At times he loses his temper if it comes to compromising to his principles.”

He had four daughters. I had hardly seen him showing any emotion for any of his daughters. I remember once he had come to visit us. My Mom was washing clothes at that time. By the time Mom finished, he was ready to leave. I along with my Mom followed him to see him off. While leaving he held both her hands in his own and gently stroked them with a strange expression in his eyes, which to me at that age was beyond understanding. If one can call it an expression of love, then that is all I had seen it in him.

I had enough of reasons not to like him. He would never get any chocolates or candies to eat. He would mostly talk about only studies. He would ask what new I had learnt and things like that.
Once we (he, mom and me) were walking in market and one child asked for money with a begging bowl in his hand. I wanted my mother to give this child some money and my Mom was about to open her purse when he almost yelled at her and stopped her from doing so. He scolded the poor child as well. From that day onwards I framed up an opinion that my Nanu was not a man who would help poor people. To my mind that was the greatest sin one could ever commit.

As the time had it, one day my Mom got a call informing about ill health of Nanu. She left to attend him. After 10 or 15 days we got another call informing about his sad demise. The next day I was also to leave to see my Mom. It was first time that I saw her upset. She didn’t cry as I expected but I saw continuous flow of tears silently rolling down her eyes. I felt very sad. Tears rolled down my cheecks too but that didn’t change my opinion about him.

Next day morning when we were all assembled in a hall, around 25 people, all strangers, entered and sat for mourning. Some of them were sobbing and some lamenting. None seemed to know them. After some time my Mom’s uncle asked them as who they were? They narrated that they lived in a near by basti belonging to a very poor class. Nanu had adopted 3 children to send to schools for studies. He would get those books and notebooks and would also deposit their fee etc. in the school. Not only that he would go to a near by park every evening to give free tuition to many children. He would assemble children in the park, teach them some exercises and would sort out their difficulties in studies as well. He had also worked hard to convince people, mostly of his age to adopt at least one child from the basti for studies.
While they narrated this, a long silence prevailed in the hall. I could see tears in the eyes of every one present.
This group of people along with those children would come every evening to be apart of the puja performed in his name. On 10th day one of the persons delivered a lecture highlighting the social and noble work he had undertaken during his stay in this place.

For me this was altogether a new dimension of his personality. He had never disclosed it before anyone, not even before his wife, my Nani-ma. But I had one question lurking in my mind, that’s if this was true then why did he scold that poor child that day?
After a year or so I asked this question to my mother.

She replied, “your Nanu would never encourage begging. He would always believe that we should not give any alms to the people who have the capacity to work, especially not to children, who easily can fall prey to art of beggary and get exploited. And one who is able to work should never beg. He believed that begging is wrong but encouraging it was a sin. He was of strong conviction that people should work, earn and eat. But my dear child it never means that he was not a philanthropist.”

And I first time learnt the meaning of being philanthropist….

MoM...... I LovE YoU

MoM Dis one is for u.....
"How beautifully painstakinly you brought me into this world is a wonder.From each moment..from my birth to my childhood and uptill now you are present in me throughout."
Everything you do is love, Mom....In every prayer,every deed, every action and everything.You love me when I don't love myself.You love me when I do!.You love me when m not confident.You love me when i m.You love unconditionally.
I remember when I was little and you loved to read and write. Watching how much you loved reading and writing made me want to read and write too(So here i m writing this 4 u).Thank you for teaching me to love to read and write.

I feel safe from all the harm when you hold me tight inside your arms.I feel the warm love from your heart.Nine months you carried me in your womb Suffered much pain until I was born.I still remember chahu(Ravi Bhaya) saying that you didn't walk for almost last three months during pregnancy because of the heavy snowfall.You used to crawl all the way through just to keep me safe.You always take good care of me, my mom.......
I thank the Lord, my God above for giving me you..
You keep telling me everyday to have fruits and milk.I eat fruits and drink milk which makes 5ml of blood bcos I know that if I don’t,you will burn 50ml.Ways are different mom – the reason remains same. This may sound silly but know it Mom( i know you know it but still)– I love you.I love you......I love you.......

Small gods--- love them, hug them… :)

20thFeb’10….. Felt great today …… Don’t know how to put it into words. It was one of the most amazing days I’ve ever experienced. I started my day at Preet Mandir, the Orphanage. Though I keep going regularly on Saturdays, yet I’ve never seen anything like it before. At the very outset I felt that the children have started recognizing me as it seemed that they were waiting for me. It feels so special when a group of kids exclaim with excitement and rush into your arms. I too hugged them like Mama Jenny :) . I hardly can describe the time I spent there, as partly it was wonderful and partly heartbreaking. I had brought toys, candy, pencils, and colors with me and a heart full of prayers for these kids. We together made some nice drawings and it was pleasure seeing them eat those chocolates.

I narrated some stories to them and explained to them how God is the most amazing father they’ll ever have. We laughed and enjoyed together. I was reminded what my Mom always says, ‘laughter is contagious, a gift from heaven, a great medicine for the soul.’ Beside the joy I realised by hugging and playing with the children, I experienced for the first time a real sense of sorrow too. While we were playing, one small girl began to cry as another snatched her candy, "give me back my candy, I want it back!" But just after a second a little hug from me made her feel better. I wondered if she would always get a hug whenever she is snatched anything…. I wondered whether she at this small age, may be just 6, she knows what has been snatched from her….her parents…the love and strength which every child is born with and has right to enjoy. Perhaps these small gods at such a small age don’t know what they are missing…..

Another girl was singing and dancing. She was excited to show how well she could dance and sing. There was some kind of spark in her eyes. I simply wondered why she had come to orphanage… may be her parents wanted a male baby or was she the outcome of some unwanted pregnancy? These questions kept haunting my mind. I kept thinking if her parents would see her today, would they find her as beautiful as I find her and would they have been proud by having her. I just could only pray that the sparkle in her eyes and smile on her face remains the same.
I try to visualize what a life they would have led If Only they had parents. I again wonder what life has in store for them. But certainly for me it was a life time experience… I know I have grown mature by being with them. I have grown in faith and learnt to be contented…..